Things are deteriorating, although the Bipolar seems to be kept at bay. My stomach stabs and burns a lot of the time and I’m struggling to get enough calories in so I’ve lost 4 kg in a few weeks. Like 8% of my weight. Along with that breathing hurts, and I’m not smoking. Physically I feel awful. I see another specialist next Thursday and there is not much more I can do until then except try and eat enough.

Saw an optometrist this morning and he agrees that Lamotrogine May be the cause of my vision issues. Well that or I’m older than I think. In three weeks I’ll be off it and will be able to confirm if my eyes heal. This is why I hate being on meds. Makes me want to chuck them all away.

To top it off anxiety has begun to hit me hard in response to the near constant TV show in my head that plays all the bad memories of my life on repeat. Using my coping skills and managing ok. See my T tomorrow which should be helpful.

I’m trying to stay calm and positive. Although, at times I feel myself crumbling. But I will stay strong.