Hello YummyGoddess: Thank you for sharing your circumstances here on PC. Best wishes for a successful outcome with regard to your upcoming surgery.

I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. Two forums that may be of interest to you, here on PC, would include the relationships forum & the health support forum. Here are links to these forums just in case you haven't already found them:

https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/

https://psychcentralforums.com/health-support/

You may also find the women-focused support forum to be of interest:

https://psychcentralforums.com/women-focused-support/

I'm sorry I don't think there is much I can offer with regard to your roommate. He simply sounds like a very immature, dare I say irresponsible, young guy. And, ultimately, you can only change yourself. So, at some point, you may simply have to decide when you've had enough & what to do about it. Here's a link to an article by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D. that (hopefully) may help to put this into perspective plus a link to an article that discusses how to let go when your partner refuses to change:

You Can Only Change Yourself

How to Let Go When Your Partner Refuses to Change | Happily Imperfect

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.