((Jp)),

When someone "grooms" what is typically an inexperienced and still niave person to gain control over them, they ALWAYS try to make that individual believe THEY HAVE POWER and are special in some way. Often the abuser will KNOW how to make themselves appear like they need you to feel good and whole too. They KNOW who will be someone they CAN do this with too.

In your own thread here, you had a lot of different individuals "some of which were themselves victims", look at what you shared and they did see red flags. At the same time though, you were beginning to WANT the power that you were experiencing with this person. When have you ever experienced anything so exciting as this? After all, experiencing someone that has so much attention like this who WANT'S YOU is exciting.

When someone is "love boomed" they can't help but feel good and excited. After all, suddenly someone who has a certain kind of charisma is seeing YOU as special. It really creates this feeling of "empowerment". Often it can feel so amazing that you don't even see the web you are being pulled into. This is when a person "doesn't want the realism, but want's the MAGIC". Everyone loves the fantasy and the fun and excitement and to feel a sense of power.

Yet, when that doesn't last and REALITY starts to happen? That's when that feeling of "power" starts to fade and the person begins to see how much power they DON'T HAVE. They miss all that magic and power and they desperately want it back, so much so that they accept the scraps that are tossed to them. What they failed to see is WHO really had that power the whole time. They did not see that they did not have the power at all, it was only an illusion.

What began to turn you off in your own thread? People were pointing things out to you that concerned them while at the same time you were being "groomed and handed exciting power".

When that happens, the only way to pull someone back in hopes they share more and listen, is to GIVE THEM POWER. Otherwise, they will just run away to where they ARE getting power, often blindly. The HOPE is that this person listens and finds some power within them to actually PAY ATTENTION and LOOK.

When a person doesn't listen and runs to the web only to end up being hurt badly, that is when that person really feels VERY powerless and ASHAMED. At that point the ONLY way anyone can help that person even begin to recover is to "give them power". Did you know that? It can be a long, long road to recovery and having a sense of power back. A caring person, often one who is professionally trained tries to give you your power back, they don't have any other agenda than to help the patient SLOWLY regain something that they lost in a significant way.

In this situation you are describing I cannot stress enough to you how important it is for you to pay attention to YOUR OWN POWER and not the power someone else is trying to create FOR YOU in order to EMPOWER THEMSELVES. It is very important to see WHO really has THE POWER because that is always going to be the person that HAS the power AND everyone else goes along with it. In a situation like this YOU only are important as long he HE wants you to be important. That is NOT HAVING YOUR OWN POWER. A young, inexperienced person who has little to no experience with relationships doesn't see that, which often why that person is selected to be a part of.

The other posters here have lived long enough, experienced enough relationships and even some toxic ones that NONE of them would play along with this guy's game. Yet, he would never invite any of them to either, he would already know they are wise to this kind of web. You however, are not which makes you invited in the first place.