My mixed are always hell on earth , I’m rage-y , or break down sobbing one minute, takes everything I have to not self harm or make an exit plan.

I want to be left alone, i can’t stay in one place for long , I go to bed and pull the covers over my head but then I have to get up and pace or go outside and just yell. I own acres so no neighbors but cows. If my phone beeps or dings I wanna bash it with a hammer, I’m short tempered, a few times in the past I have even yelled at my dog when he’s just trying to comfort me.

This is when I white knuckle like hell and will take Haldol for about a week and that usually stops it. But numerous times the only way for me to stay safe has been going IP

Mixed is terrifying and the most dangerous mood state I can be in.