I'm having a hard time with father's day this weekend. For the first time in 20 years I would have been able to send my father a card or a little gift and instead his ashes are still on a shelf waiting to be scattered next month. His birthday was a few weeks after he died and while I'd also figured out how to get him a birthday gift without giving him my address I wasn't as sad about that; I was still early in the coping process I think.

Nothing can change this. It's just sad.