I think your example of what you did n how you reacted to your husband - is something my husband would do n how he would react to me saying something similar as your husband said to you. He and I both have mh issues and we both have issues with not loving ourselves enough at times - but both of us display it in different ways. He is more similar to you. I tend to just berate myself into an isolation so deep its unreal and then continue to chastise myself. I have gotten much better at not doing that but it still happens at times. Especially if my mh gets triggered.