She may have some dementia, though this has been a lifelong pattern with her. She did send me a birthday card, though there was no money inside. She usually sends a small amount for me to have a meal or buy my own birthday cake. Her card was nice and seemed to be like nothing was going on. If it were not for my birthday I doubt I would have heard from her. When she gets mad she withdraws her love until you comply. And I'm sure she's telling everyone that I was the one that started this and she's playing the victim role, again something she's enjoyed since I've known her. How do you set boundaries with someone in their 80's?