For clients it can be a bit of both usually. There's always parts of us that think we are special or the T really really likes us, they are wonderful people etc... Idealizing...

Then there is parts where we might get a glimpse of the human in them, or realize the clients are all treated similar (usually) so thats reality.

Having feelings is just normal. It might have nothing to do with your T. My anger for t3 isn't about him at all. It's for long term T but t3 is the only person I express it on