Quote:
Originally Posted by DP_2017
That's how they build rapport and trust. They learn all this in schooling. It isn't a friendship but being a rock who just sits there quietly, isn't very helpful either. So they usually at least try to be engaging. They do it with everyone, sadly.
It's the sad part of therapy but the part I remind myself constantly so I don't get sucked into the fantasy of it all
And it's harder for you because you are strongly attached. Thats the perk of lessening the distance/attachment, it's hard at first but it does get easier to deal with stuff like this.Ya this is a weird boundary but to be fair, he doesn't have many with you, so I guess I'd be happy with that. He's obviously not the type to share loads of stuff, so I guess just be aware and try not to ask much about it, stay focused on the things you need to work on.
|
For the first part, yes, I know the chatting helps build rapport and trust. I wouldn't want a T who wouldn't engage in at least a little of that. But my T is also good at making sure that doesn't take up much of the session. If we end up in a chatting place, after a few minutes, he might say something like, "So, are we just going to talk about TV shows today?" or something. Which, I mean, it's my session, he's said I can talk about what I want to. But I'm also not paying him to discuss TV.
Yes, this last part is why I didn't bother asking more about the pet question. Because I know I need to focus on other things. Talking about stuff regarding my dad the last two sessions has been much more productive to overall than if I'd spent half a session trying to get him to tell me what pets he has and why that's important. I do end up having to talk some about the therapeutic relationship, because I need to feel able to trust him, to feel "safe" with him, in order to delve into the deep stuff, like I've done this week. But I don't need to know the kind of pets he has to trust him or not.