Quote:
Originally Posted by octoberful
There's a developmental aspect to it that every child goes through, so that type of idealization is cognitive. In the sense that children aren't capable of processing complex emotions until older and the brain is not fully formed until age 20 something, they also don't have an adult sense of self. It's similar to how a child can't distinguish the mother from self as an infant, followed by being the center of the universe. I think at the point where the idealization begins is when a child discovers the parent is separate from them and lasts to the separation-individuation phase.
It is used as a defense for some clients, in others as you said, projections, but every child goes through that phase and some of experience unthawing those frozen parts in therapy.
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The kind of early life idealization you are talking about, how is it cognitive though? It is the cognitive functions that develop the last and are not fully formed until ~mid-20's, so a child or adolescent person doesn't have appropriate/complete independent faculties in that domain. I also think that the sense of self is pretty complex and contains more emotional elements than cognitive (more rational) ones - that's why we feel so strongly about personal values, for example, which are parts of a person's identity. These are usually not things that we just decide about and pick at will, or measure rationally, when they develop. Later on a person typically uses their sense of self and already formed values for decision making, judgment, choosing whatever is in harmony or dissonant relative to that sense of self. I also think that idealization of any kind is rarely rational, that's why we cling to an ideal and disregard the reality.
Anyhow, I am not sure we are talking about the same things and same developmental phases or maybe define and interpret things differently.