There's no textbook so everyone makes mistakes and a lot depends on the children (you and I are "okay" from our really bad childhoods and I'm sure your childrens' weren't as bad as yours was). Too, your children are still a bit young and could turn around. We all have to right ourselves and figure things out in our 20's I think. My 3 stepsons were all messes but started doing wonderfully in their 30's.