I was thinking Theoretical that in a crisis, what comforts one person could be very different than for someone else. That's why we here on PC could not determine that for you or your cousin. Some folks benefit from a silent hug, for others it's acts of service, others need to share their truth....research supports that as helpful with healing but there will always be people who bury their feelings and don't want to share....as is their right.

Am I making this sound more and more complicated? Haha! It is. Although there are a lot of reductive statements thrown around in society about humanity, we are a complex and mucky bunch. We don't all like or appreciate the same efforts. Ever heard of the Five Love Languages? I have a couple of male friends who rolled their eyes when I mentioned it and yet one came to me several months later and said it helped him to relate better to his wife. Her love language is different from his....very common in relationships. You can look it up. There's even a quiz.

Basically, the way in which each individual feels appreciated varies a great deal. What works for one may not comfort another. If someone tries to give you an absolute or a formula on how to help others, they are really just giving you their own bias.