I can't remember what I did today. I lost my purse. I don't know where I went so I could go back and backtrack to find it. My H got angry and was yelling at me because I was stressed because I lost my purse. My D is worried and I am worried about her. I am sick of behaving the way I have been behaving, it is as if it comes and goes. : I had no choice to leave work. I was stressed and paranoid and it wouldn't stop. So I quit. My behavior is exploding and I am ashamed. I don't know who I have become. I am really trying and really failing miserably. I didn't quit because I was lazy, I quit because of my mental illness. I was hoping I could have a somewhat regular life. But now, my H has no patience for me when I forget things, etc. I will not write frantically to my T anymore, as long as I remember this. I have definitely regressed and I have no idea how to get better. I have a few of the most shameful things, borderline personality disorder and regression. I can't say that I have been any lower than this point. I am someone that I hate. And I can't change it. I can't be who and what other people want me to be, including me. I don't see anything in my future. I have felt like a good person because of my therapist and daughter. And sometimes long ago my H. I have always wanted to live a life where I help people and make the world a better place, but I have social anxiety and borderline personaity, so I've given as much as I can. I don't see a happy ending to this story. We shalll see.