In understanding your situation, i feel for you. I was in a marriage for1 6 years with someone who was obviously not happy with something before we married. I'll have to assume it was an inferiority complex that was buried.
She found social networking and online gaming communities that told her she deserved better i guess. You see, we were housebound with a very low functional autistic boy who was a runner, destructive and self-violent. So most baby sitters would cause him to panic and scream. Our weekends were very bad. I stayed there with her but our marriage took the strain. I wanted to stay together, she made fun of that. She ignored my conversation, became like a teenager. I was angry about the way she ran home from work, only to sit in front of her tablet all night until bed i knew why she was doing it,i let it happen because it seemed to make her happy. She turned on my kindness, cheated and lied. Then said i was to blame.
I never wanted to believe that but sometimes i did. Now I'm here because of the fact that she won't admit to herself she was wrong, people she never met destroyed us. All the things i held as values were **** all over. I feel like a fool.

Soi know what you feel about blaming yourself.. That person/people who inflict the emotional abuse on us, they don't think twice about it.
So we're left with the *** end of it. It's wrong in every way. People just treat new h other like crap but there are those of us who value companionship. Who treat it with care and even we are not safe. I really feel your hurt inside. I do