I can so relate, Inkblot! My exhusband/source of trauma has also intruded into the place online I thought was safe. He also keeps pushing the limits of the protective order. Talk about triggers. It's hard sometimes to be assertive, but you can do it. I still have to talk myself into it and remind myself why I got the protective order in the first place. I'm not too terrific at it yet, but I'm trying.

I understand the fear of emotion as well... the automatic emotional responses that kick in and take over so easily. This site, it seems, is the last safe haven that I have.

Just keep trying... you CAN do it. Oh, and I couldn't function without Zoloft, really! Take care of you. I'm still learning how myself.