Well... I'm not sure about what you had in mind regarding your Polish heritage. I don't know how one gets rid of one's heritage. Perhaps it's simply a matter of being away from it longer & longer. The longer you are away from it the less influence it has over you? I don't know. That's just a thought.

Destructive behaviors, of course, are something else again. Presumably they are fueled by anger. And anger is something you can work on. Working with a counselor or therapist may be one way to address the anger that is fueling your destructive behaviors. However here are links to 6 articles, from PC's archives. The first, by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D., talks about learning to let go of past hurts. The remaining 5 offer insights into getting anger & hostility under control:

Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts: 5 Ways to Move On

Getting Anger & Hostility Under Control

Tips for Coping With Your Angry Behavior

Tips for Managing Anger

Anger: Cleansing Squall or Hurricane?

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...-work-for-you/

My best wishes to you...