JelloFluff and Alex: thank you for your posts. I am not in a CBT or even DBT therapy. I guess you would call it psychodynamic. But maybe it really has no strictly defined label. It is with a LCSW. I think regardless of label it depends on the particular therapist/patient interaction.

In the course of posting this, and thinking about it later, I learned something! At least I think so. A lightbulb (compact flourescent) came on. Harry Stack Sullivan speaks of it as being a consequence of some kinds of things that happen in therapy: the patient/client becoming confused! That is certainly what happens a great deal of the time with me! And now I think I understand what is happening and why. Wow. It is very, very simple. It is like a computer (me) getting contradictory information. In particular, the words said (by the therapist) do not match the feelings that he broadcasts by his actions. And I am not picking out what real emotions those are, and sidestepping the words.

THIS is what makes the difference in therapies of all kinds: whether the therapist is clear enough in his own mind about what his thoughts and feelings are, so that his (her) words match the realities, rather than being coverups or justifications for his own confusions. I am not trying to condemn here, just to actually understand!

Deity! I hope someone here gets some increased understanding of what I am trying to say.