resurgam:

What I need is for people to treat me as an equal, not as some scary "other" that they refuse interact with on fair and equal terms. I need to be a member of a social group so that I can properly interact with society. I need to not be ostracized, abused, and slandered.

The very first step to that is for people to give me the faith that they demand of me and believe what I tell them about my life. No one believes what I say because they've never experienced anything like what I've experienced, despite what I've experienced being directly caused by what other people do.

Ultimately what I am looking for is a way to break through other people's prejudice and get them to see the real me, not the straw man they created before they even met me. I want people to ignore what society tells them to think about me and for them to think for themselves.

SilverTrees:

It is highly unlikely that you fully think of me as an equal human being. Even if you did, you would be so ostracized in doing so that you would be unable to affect society in a way that would help. Ultimately, it is the change in humanity's minds that I seek.

People who reach out to me do not do so to help me; they do so to call me a liar and gain social status. I have been fooled too many times in the past to ever believe such transparent attempts now. Nothing a human being can say will convince me that they're truthful; only non-verbal actions will convince me. As such, it is far too late for anyone to convince me that they're genuine - that time ended when I became a legal adult. Think of it this way - why would people wait forty years, then start treating me as an equal? It doesn't make sense; the more sensical explanation is that they're continuing their bad behavior.


I do have a "glimmer" of hope that I will be able to find people who will not vilify me, but every person I meet dims that hope. It is human nature to harm and reject those outside the "tribe", and I am outside all tribes. Those are simply the inalienable facts.