I started feeling anxiety again while I was visiting my aunt. I think that’s because I tried to talk to her about my anxiety, and my fear of losing my mind - and she just doesn’t get it. Silly me for thinking she would.

Don’t get me wrong - she and my uncle were very kind to me. But I just got reminded - again - that so very few people understand what happens to people like us. What our own minds do to us.

People who care about us *want* us to be OK - so they try to convince us that we don’t have a problem; we’re not really going crazy; that what we’re feeling is normal. But that attitude is scary to me. It’s like they’re saying, “We want you to be OK, so you *are* OK. Take our word for it, over your own feelings.”

So in the car on the way home, I had an anxious meltdown. Because I was driving, I didn’t want to take any Ativan.

My stomach was a little upset; but when I got home, my bf had ordered us a pizza for dinner, with my favorite toppings. So I ate a piece anyway. I have a headache, too. I think I’m going to wait about another 30 minutes for my stomach and my head to feel better, and then take an Ativan.