Maybe because I'd gotten so used to it.

I didn't feel "normal". It was like I lost my identity. And I know how screwed up that sounds. Believe me when I say I want to be better. But at the same time, I don't want to feel that empty, void feeling either.

I don't think there is anything that can be said or done. I guess I really just wanted to vent. I feel like I'm stuck in a catch 22 and it sucks. :'(