" Explosive temper " = abuse. I know you hope and wish, but that doesn't " change " unless he goes deep with someone he doesn't know; a therapist. I know you can't turn back the clock, but that he exploded before getting married, that was a huge red flag. His moods can change from day to day, and how he expresses himself, and it's very common for abusive people to ' apologize ', until the next time, and there's always a next time. If you didn't ask why he won't go to counseling, then how will you tell him he has to go to individual therapy ( which is what he needs to commit to, since his temper and all that is all on him ).