Dear friends and my fellow warriors. I am here asking for your advise. Humbly asking again for your advise. I have many issues that I have collected and likely not managed well through out the years in my life.

1. Looking back I have always been fearful and I remember in the 1990s what help me get through that was a book by Louis Hay, that gave me tools to believe in my self using affirmations and I believed in them so much that it actually did work. But now I am in a situation where I feel my confidence was stolen from me, I lost it. I have never learned to defend my self well enough I believe or be smart to avoid an y attack preemptively. And last years there have been so many attacks and mental games that attack my soul. Not only me personally but also my profession. Personally how I can get to see my children again and how can I learn to live without them.

2. Regarding my children, they are the reason of me living and without them I feel worthless and weak. And I some how fight these emotions but everyday I go out and see a mother with their children I feel like a turd for letting my family fall apart. How can I try to live a life. btw I live in Japan and as a foreigner there are many downsides but also good.

3. On the professional side I work for KPMG and I have worked for most of the big four and have not managed well but I have to say the KPMG has been the worst so far. People are very good to make others feel worthless and also behave very unprofessionally. Insults and racist remarks. And leadership does nothing. Now they want to demote me for reporting the bad behavior and I just want to leave that pos of a firm. But may be I am wrong. However I have fought blood sweat and tears to get to where I am right now and I am not willing to take a demotion.

So I will need to find a better place.

Is there such thing as a better place?
Am I wrong about how to deal with work?

An you please help me? Sometimes I want to end it all.

Thank you my friends,

EO