Thread: Intimacy
View Single Post
 
Old Jun 18, 2019, 10:56 AM
amandalouise's Avatar
amandalouise amandalouise is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
Posts: 9,171
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverTrees View Post
"my point is if your body and mind didnt have intimate feelings for this person you wouldnt have created two children and wouldnt still be with this person."

This may be true for some people but it does not make it true for everyone. Lots of humans go through their lives feeling empty or disconnected from everyone around them. Lots of people have attachment disorders. Lots of people experience trauma and abuse in childhood, or adulthood, and the very idea of true emotional intimacy becomes terrifying. To suggest that anyone who had sex and conceived two children must have felt true intimacy, even though they clearly stated they did not, is just not realistic. Sex can be a mechanical act for some folks. So can making someone a meal or asking them about their day. Going through the motions of activities of daily living is not the same as truly and deeply feeling connected to others. Some women give birth and feel zero attachment to their child. Some fathers feel thoroughly disconnected from their spouse and their children. Lots of adults remain in cold or miserable relationships without feeling any true intimacy with their partner.

I cannot possibly know how someone else feels because I am not living in their mind, body, and spirit.

The human condition is much more complex than dictionary definitions.
yes thank you. but I was talking about what led up to having sex in order to making those two children... having children happens because a person has sex or they use IVF, both situations a person has to have some sort of caring for each other. unless it was a one night stand you go out and purchase time or in that moment cared and wanted to have sex with some one.

my point of my post was that intimacy is about feelings and feelings just are, either you cared enough to hold someones hand, cared enough to go to bed with them and create a child or you didnt in which case why would someone have sex with someone that they didnt care about and have 2 children with and still be with them if they didnt have some amount of caring for that person. people dont stay with people that they hate or have no feelings for. people dont just bed down with people they dont care for, and create children with...

my point was to show that feelings of intimacy isnt all about looking for the feelings, its what you do for someone, its showing how you enjoy being with someone, its about taking time to spend time with someone.

its taking time to listen to someone, hold their hand, give them a compliment, have sex with them, have children with them, have a meal with them, watch a movie with them, ....

I bet if everyone re read their own posts they will find many examples of intimacy in their lives. whether its for their self or for another person. I mean we have have to have some amount of caring and respect inside of us otherwise why are we posting, why are we replying to others, what is it about posting that we are gaining from doing so, what is it about anothers post that causes us to want to reply. I dont know about everyone else but I have a sense of caring and wanting whats right for myself and others. I have feelings for those that I reply to, granted those feelings are not like what I feel for my wife but thats what intimacy is, its caring and wanting whats best for another, and how you show it to those you care and want the best for.
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear
Thanks for this!
Fuzzybear