I’m new here but I wanted some outside input to confirm that I’m not losing my mind lol

I’ve been suffering from generalized anxiety and panic attacks since I was about 16. I’ve seen a few therapists (briefly) and took Zoloft a few years back with some effect but haven’t taken anything in over two years and I’ve been in pretty good control overall. However, last fall I had an episode of severe symptoms (shakiness, dizziness, no appetite, GI issues, palpitations) that came on suddenly and were very difficult to shake for weeks. I got a complete medical work up and was cleared, told me it was anxiety related.

I’m nearly back to normal now, though it took some therapy, some PRN ativan that I haven’t taken since January, and a very slow re-entrance back into my social life. I still have tough moments but I’m learning how to curb the feelings on my own and feel much more like myself.

However, the last few months I have been experiencing weird “episodes” that I’ve never had before. It sometimes feels like people around me aren’t real or they’re like strangers, like my family and especially my boy friend. I usually shake it off knowing that I know very well who they are and that I care about them and it will pass. But recently it’s been more severe toward my bf. I look at him and it’s like he’s a total stranger. We’ve been together for a little over a year, we’ve been through a lot and he’s very supportive and I love him very much but I look at him and it’s like he’s someone else. Logically I know that he isn’t it’s just a very bizarre feeling. And the other night it was especially bad to the point I was laying next to him in bed having a panic attack because he didn’t feel real to me.

I’m currently waiting for an appointment with a new therapist but I wanted to know; has anyone else ever experienced anything like this? Is this how derealization works? Is it something else? I’ve never really heard of anything like this before and it’s terrifying and I’m afraid to talk to anyone about it for fear of judgement or worry - especially my boyfriend who is my biggest support.

Any advice would be great, thanks!!