OH GOD about safety. When I stopped feeling safe even at home with FAMILY in the family house (I temporarily moved back home), just because my brother has his stupid rages that he didn't even have previously like this, and just because my sister's husband decided to get at me out of ****ing nowhere on a ****ing Sunday in a really malicious way, my lifesaver was to create a total emergency plan for finding a truly safe place. Yes I did manage to think up one. That helped me survive. I'm a tiny bit better off, now I can again fight back without going overboard (I so did go overboard with the husband of my sister, it was extreme crazy, but it was either that or death), but it's good to keep that safe place in mind.

I do think this is absolutely an important thing to know that you have access to such a place. And I don't mean a blanket or a nice smell. I mean an actual physical location where you know you WILL NOT be attacked again in whatever way you are sensitive to it with your particular variant of traumas.



And the other thing I initially had to do to survive was being willing to drop my relationship with my sister if it were to came to that or my brother even. BEING WILLING to drop every dead weight so you do not TOTALLY SINK. You IMO have to be very clear on what you are willing to let go of just so you can survive. That besides the absolutely safe place to go to is necessary. Again IMO.

Luckily I didn't have to drop my family relationships in the end (except my sister's husband but who the **** cares about that anymore).