A middle ground would probably be more than enough for many, Humpty Dumpty. Unfortunately Depression doesn't allow that. You're certainly not alone in your feelings! Please NEVER give up hope! You ARE IMPORTANT and YOU MATTER! Stay safe! Hopefully things will get better soon for you one way or another! Just treat yourself with kindness! Keep venting if you need that! We're here to listen to you and to support you! WE ALL DO CARE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! YOU KNOW THAT IS TRUE! YOU KNOW THAT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE! Hang in there! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, Humpty Dumpty!