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eskielover · Jun 19, 2019 at 05:46 PM

My experience with derealization/ depersonalization was different but when I explained it to my pdoc that is what he said I was experiencing.

For me it was like watching myself in a movie. I distinctly remember the first experience. I was on the hay bales getting them down to feed the horses at the ranch. All of a sudden I was watching myself do this rather than doing it myself. Someone came up & asked me a question. While I was answering I wondered how I knew what to answer.....I felt totally separated from myself. My H at the time was driving & wanted to stop at the grocery store. I was afraid to stay in the car but was wondering how I could even manage. I followed behind my H watching myself do that too. It was scary when I had no idea what was happening.

I had several other experiences like that after leaving my H & moving alone across the country. I needed something from the store in town when it hit. I had to focus on what I needed or I never would have gotten in & out of the store. Another time it hit when I was with a large group of people. I got this real "spacey" (best way I could describe it) feeling & had to walk outside trying to get my grounding back.

Turns out my really good T I have now explained that derealization is a coping skill for stress. It becomes a problem when it is out of. Control & effects our life negatively.

Go ahead & talk to your new T when you see them. That is the best person to talk to about it.

I had gone through a trauma just before it hit the first time & was also having serious marriage issues that was causing me extreme anger issues....actually seeing red when I had to deal with the H so my stress level & some PTSD was foundational to my experience.

It is hard to determine all the different possible ways this can manifest itself in each person. Your new T will know best. Good place to start