Recognition from others yet with respect in allowing one to form one's own identity instead of having to fit into a box of what others consider worthy of value and respect. If a child grows up with a narcissistic parent they are expected to be what the narcissist wants instead of experiencing the freedom to develop their own identity. Without even realizing it this individual can think this is normal and end up in a relationship with yet another narcissist that has no ability to respect them as having their own identity but instead live their life around the narcissists needs. The individual unknowingly learns the only way to live is through codependency always putting the needs of others before themselves and never really feeling their own identity. Decisions come hard in that without realizing it the individual never was allowed to have their own opinion or sense of self.

The idea of unconditional love is so far off the individual struggles with feeling safe to just be themselves and have imperfections or that it's ok to like something even if it's not something another person likes.