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Originally Posted by SilverTrees
I only partially agree with this. Yes, people closest to us will know us better in a sense but I've also seen how closeness can create blindspots. People often overlook or are completely oblivious to certain traits of a close partner. For example, a wife who had no idea her husband was unfaithful for over a year. Could be denial in some cases but I think there are times when people closest to someone are actually LESS aware of their weaknesses than those with more distance.
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Just because two people are married and living together doesn't mean they're close. The Boomer generation taught us that much about marriage. The two in this relationship aren't recognizing each other. This is an example of Hegel's Master/slave dialectic, wherein one party is failing to fully recognize the humanity in the other. In this case, it's the husband who fails to see the wife as an equal and doesn't value her opinion. Consequently, he feels unfulfilled in his marriage, and seeks "fulfillment" elsewhere. Furthermore, he's never going to change this behavior because his wife refuses to see it and won't challenge him on it, therefore he won't grow as a person. She's probably in denial to protect her own sense of happiness. I don't know; it's your hypothetical.
I don't think it is possible for a human to every completely know"every aspect" of another human....the Self that others recognize is at best what we transmit to the outer world.
Sure, but that doesn't really negate the theory.
That may sound cynical but I don't mean it that way at all. The notion that we partner with someone by completely giving up everything about ourselves....privacy, boundaries etc is not a healthy one.
I'm not saying it is healthy, nor am I saying you should reveal every sordid thought you have. But rather, it's important that some people can see the essence of who you are. You don't need to tell someone your entire life's story in excruciating detail for them to get an impression of who you are.
The healthiest lasting relationships are when one fully developed Self meets another fully developed separate Self and they share a life via attention and work on the YOU the ME and the WE.
As developed as one could be, sure, but one requires meeting another Self in order to develop in the first place. One is not simply born fully developed.
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Originally Posted by Open Eyes
Recognition from others yet with respect in allowing one to form one's own identity instead of having to fit into a box of what others consider worthy of value and respect.
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Yes, being seen as an autonomous agent is a part of recognition.