Hi SilverTrees!

I am very much grateful that you asked this question, as it reminds me that I am not alone in my bewilderment over how much one needs to socialize to be happy. There is a concept that has been illustrated by Malcolm Gladwell in his signature work "The Tipping Point", that describes the maximum number of relationships that one person can handle before becoming emotionally and relationally stretched. This limit was originally devised by the British psychologist, Robin Dunbar in 1992, in conclusion to a study conducted through varying the size of non-human primate communities. It was determined that the maximum number of relationships that one can handle at a single point in time is 150. There is some variation between 100 and 250, but 150 is the most commonly accepted "middle ground", as well as the number orignally discovered by Dunbar. In our culture, known for desiring busyness and constant connection, someone may wonder "what is the scale of each relationship in this 150-person community?" In Medium's link for this article (see at the end of this post), the author does a fine job providing an overview of the study, breaking down the number into 4 components: 5 intimate friendships (possibly the most important closer friendships?), 15 good friends, 50 total friends (5 intimate, 15 good friends, therefore leaving 30 casual friends), and 150 acquaintances. Both Dunbar and Medium have used examples of this concept at work, the earliest of which was found in Neolithic time period, where 150 was the average size of a farming community before a split to smaller communities was warranted. The 120-150 people found in most army troop was a social standard set by soldiers in the days of the Roman Empire. In "Tipping Point", a modern example takes the concept even further to explain the recent success of Gore-Tex, a manufacturer of fabrics that repel moisture, making clothes and camping items more waterproof and hiking boots slip-resistant. What explains the success of the company's product? Keeping the community small. The parent manufacturer of the product, WL Gore and Associates is very selective on who enters the Gore-Tex division to prevent over-population of workers, thus creating a personable work environment. The average size of the Gore-Tex division is close to Dunbar's Number, which is a small enough number that nametags are not even necessary!

This may be a very analytical approach to social relationships, but I feel very passionate about Dunbar and his findings. In a world that often seems to pressure people to socialize or form large networks, this has been a very encouraging finding, and hope that you feel the same way too.

Dunbar’s number — the law of 150 – Esther Sugihto – Medium