I hear you, KuzMax! I feel like the best way to fight envy is to just focus on ourselves and our own healing and try not to pay too much attention to what others are doing. After all it won't really be helpful in the long run like you've already wisely said. I know that's not easy though! We can all just try to do our best. We're only humans after all! Keep working on yourself as much as you possibly CAN! It will be worth it! THAT'S A PROMISE! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new things and learn new ways to cope with your feelings! I feel like that may REALLY help you! Please DO reach out to a professional if you haven't already! I'm sure there are PLENTY of books that may help you as well so perhaps you may want to check out those as well! Just keep working on yourself as much as you possibly can! That's all we humans can do after all and it's ALWAYS more than enough! Let us know how things are going for you and if there's ANYTHING we can do to help you out! WE ALL DO CARE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! Wish you th best of luck in BOTH your healing and in your life! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, KuzMax, and to ALL the people who you love and who love you back!