I took off from work today to finish my major project because I was absolutely freaking out about it and wouldn’t have been able to concentrate at work. Good news is it’s finished! I’m not sure I did it right and it’s not ten pages long but it’s a solid eight pages. I managed to even figure out how to insert a line graph. Like I said I’m not sure I did everything right but all I can do is turn it in and hope for the best.

This is my last day smoking cigarettes. We are moving tomorrow and I don’t want to smoke at my new house, even though I never smoke inside anyway. I just don’t want to smoke anymore. I mean I do, for sure, because I love smoking, but RS hates it and he’s upset that I’m smoking. I don’t want to upset him any more. Besides it’s better for me that I quit. It’s going to be really hard though. Really hard. I hope I can do it. I’m going cold turkey off nicotine. I have my vape but the cartridges I have have no nicotine. I’m also going to quit the vape as soon as my cartridges are out because it’s way too expensive to continue. so yeah I’m gonna be a mess for awhile. I think I can do it though.

In other news I am so done with my brother. We are planning a bbq in our new home for July 6. I chose that date specifically because they said they were free. Well he texts me and says he’s going to the shore that weekend. His wife’s mother lives near the shore so they go there all the time. I was outraged. He’s going to the ****ing shore again? Especially when he said he was free! All of a sudden he’s not free? I was so pissed and hurt. So I texted him that I was hurt because he never spends time with this side of the family and he’s always with his wife’s family. I said he needs to make time for me too. I know he has a lot of anger toward my mom but that doesn’t mean he can’t hang out with me! I didn’t do anything wrong. I texted him all this and the **** never replied. Can’t even acknowledge how much he hurt me. I’m done. If he wants to ignore me for no reason two can play at that game. I just won’t invite them anywhere anymore. I kind of want to text his wife and ask her why he hasn’t texted me back but I don’t want to bring her into the middle of this. She will just defend him. As she should, that’s her husband, if something was going on with RS I would be on his side. I’m just really hurt that he won’t come over and I’m even more hurt that he wont acknowledge how much he hurt me. So I think I just need to step back from him for awhile. I might text him one more time but I don’t want to be hurt again so maybe not.

Can’t wait to move tomorrow! So excited. I have a lot more school work to do before we move but I have the rest of the day to do it. I should be fine.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!