crochet? my granny used to do a lot of that...I think it helped to keep her mind off of her constant back pain...(she took a lot of heavy drugs too) sorry, what you said just reminded me of that...I assume that you're feeling frustrated because of the constant battle it is to not use. One thing that put it into perspective for me is that whatever it is that we "use" steals our lives from us! We die prematurely or live our lives un-naturally focused on it, I'm just not willing to accept that and I can get angry about that if need be to muster up my will power and fight for my life...sometimes we have to experience what it is that is being stolen before we understand it's (and our) real value.