Sorry you are struggling with this challenge as sometimes a mental health challenge can make things more challenging. Also, you live in Moscow, Russia too so it can be so different there than what other members experience where they live too. Sometimes a person lives in a place where things are not as available as they are in other countries too. I feel at a loss in that I honestly don't know what it's like to live in your country and what may be available to someone struggling that can help them work their way out of a rut they may be in. I don't even know if there are places there where you can volunteer your time or not either. From my understanding things in your country are a lot more sensored then here in the US too. It's interesting to learn that you are able to access this site and interact as you have. I don't personally know how much you are allowed to do or gain access to.