My husband is in this exact situation. We’ve been married 23 years with a 16 and 14 year old. He is in love with his 14 year younger affair partner. In January, we separated and I was under the impression it was so he could think clearly about what he wanted. Found out two weeks ago, he actually took his emotional affair to a “full blown committed sexual relationship “ with her when he moved out.

We started divorce proceedings in April. He told me two weeks ago he wasn’t sure this was the right decision because he knows I don’t want it and he was starting to question if he truly wants it. He says he’s torn between deciding if he wants to work on our marriage and choosing her. In this two weeks though, he has continued to talk to her and see her, and anytime we talk or are together I feel no hope, love, anything.

He has asked for an open marriage more than once and I have no interest in that.
I told him I think he should take a month with zero contact with either of us to really, truly make an unbiased, uninfluenced decision because there are 5 lives here that stand to be deeply impacted by whatever decision he makes. He acts like that’s an unreasonable request that he can’t consider. So my question here is, is that a fair reasonable request with so much on the line here or isn’t it? I truly don’t know anything anymore…HELP!