What I wonder in my similar situation is it the BPD talking or is it really the best thing to do if I was super balanced and healthy. What is the healthiest thing for you and the kids? Could there be some transformation in the relationship? Could you make a change inside. The mindfulness for me has been night and day (I do not see people as blacj and white and an extension of myself like before). I have to constantly challenge myself. BPD can get better and often feel an empty sense of self, they may not know what they really want because they may not even know themselves.