Quote:
Originally Posted by theoretical
Yeah, I realize this. It's a skill, like most social interaction, but I've gotten the impression that there's something deeper missing. You know .... Emotions, those pesky little things. 
Sure, I could learn to better mimic the appropriate emotional reactions in order to accommodate others' feelings, and this would probably be the "polite" thing to do, however manipulative. And that's why I was asking - would you rather me do this, even if it isn't genuine? Even if I can't empathize?
It's kind of a weird gray area for me, morally speaking, because in this instance, faking empathy would be the polite thing to do. I'm putting forth effort as a consideration of another's feelings, which is morally good (right?), but that effort is basically learning to lie better. |
I don't see it as morally grey at all. You're putting forth the effort to help others despite not having empathy, compassion or pity compelling you to do so.
Yes, you may be lying. But think if another person with a normal capacity for emotion were to console your friend instead of you, yet provided the same support. What would be the difference if the person you're supporting doesn't know your words are empty, in the sense you're not feeling what you're saying, nor are you feeling anything for them? Essentially, different motivations for helping people doesn't make what you say or do any less valuable to the person receiving it. In most contexts anyways.
There's also the fact that you're trying to help them in the first place, when many people, psychopath or not, simply don't care to, or offer "support" unhelpful to the recipient.
That being said, abstaining from helping others in instances you're not confident you can be of use in is also fine. You're acknowledging your limitations instead of trying to help someone you might not know how to. Many times, people with good intentions do that, and end up making the person they're trying to help feel worse.
Also, I have no proof of this. But I think most people would rather receive "autenthic" support than "inauthentic". But that's with the knowledge of knowing. It's also ignoring things like, what if the "inauthentic" support is more insightful to the person and the other one isn't, but is coming from a place of genuine feeling for the other? And again, in most instances, you don't know the motivations that people have for helping others. Different motivations when revealed, unless sinister, shouldn't change which support one would rather receive if the "inauthentic" one is more helpful. Imo, for people that would answer this type of question, it's mostly the idea of someone wired much differently than themselves and most of society, which could be uncomfortable (especially the term psycopath, which has a lot of negative preconceived notions surrounding it) that would sway them to prefering authentic support, even if it doesn't provide as much value.