Fuzzy, unfortunately a lot of people don't really know how to sit with another person who has emotional needs. Often they want a person to sit with them when they have emotional needs but they simply cannot reciprocate. This is why these individuals can present as hipocrites.

It is these kind of individuals that will say in different ways how much they don't want to observe another person's behaviors and understand how these behaviors are often due to that other person's unmet needs. An unmet need typically stems from early childhood where that individual was not allowed to develop their own identity. Instead, these individuals had to constantly meet up the the expectations of others and sometimes the only thing others provided was expecting this child to conform to their own ideas of what is "right or good" without actually looking at that child's needs and instead encouraged them to learn, develop, achieve in their own ways.

This often sets that child up to feel inadequate and constantly needing reasurances because they tend to struggle with being ok to have their own identity. This also sets this child up to gravitate to what is called "love bombing" techniques because suddenly someone comes along that tells them all the things they needed to hear and never got before. Unfortunately, that can lead to suddenly experiencing rejections where that person is left completely confused as to why they are suddenly not worthy like they were before. Hense, even more emotional confusion along with experiencing confusing anxieties as well.

I think you can empathize with hurts because you have in your own life been hurt and abused and got very little nurturing. Unfortunately, while others will always like having all the attention and sympathy, it doesn't mean that individual can provide that to others. You may experience a person who dumps their load on you even though you have your own personal challenges, you may get a little bit of attention, but the truth is what that other person REALLY wants is for you to sit and listen while they dump all their emotional duress out on you. Once this person has done that and regains some balance though, often without even realizing it they can suddenly decide to come back at you and tell you all the things that are wrong with you. They take you on a ride they need to control and then often when they are needing to exert power again, you tend to be the one they choose to do that with too. And, this person NEVER really considered all the very real challenges YOU were facing, it was ALL ABOUT THEM. And that's why they come across as a hypocrite.

One of my own challenges has been feeling safe to vent my own personal hurts. This is due to how I have experienced too many individuals who only want me to deal with THEIR needs and emotional challenges and simply cannot do the same for me and even get angry if I do express a need and have my own emotional challenges. These tend to be the very same people that never want to understand any "whys" when it comes to others needs and behaviors. So they cannot really actually sit with you Fuzzy and provide that kind of "caring" knowledge with you, all they can do is say "that's too bad" now LET'S TALK ABOUT ME, ME, ME. Or they are cold and tend to talk down to you and can be critical of you for experiencing deep emotional needs or even expecting they may have respect for you like you TRIED to do for them.

Does that ring bells for you?