I’ve had a similar feeling due to ECT, but I haven’t had as much as you have. After my last bout of 12 sessions it went so badly that I’ve refused to have it again. That was November last year and my brain is still struggling. My memory is bad, both storing and recalling. Of course meds can do this to people too.

I can understand why you would feel so lost. You have had so many more sessions than I. Is it the only treatment option you have left? I believe that in most cases our brains can heal. Have you heard of Neuro-plasticity? There are memory games we can play to help repair our brains. I am currently looking into this myself. Hang in there. There is hope you won’t feel so lost.