Juggling too many balls. To try and combat my PTSD rage I started exercising. My Fibromyalgia had been quiet so I thought I would be fine. Wrong. Now I’m exhausted and in agony, and even more pissed off with no physical avenue to vent my rage. I’m broke and need to work but with my hip still healing and now the revelation that I can’t push myself physically I doubt I can return to work anytime soon.

Last night despair hit me. The rage and grief were overwhelming and I wanted to give up. This is no life. So I journaled and tried to talk myself back to hope. It worked a little but the rage continued so I had to punch out with Seroquel to keep myself safe. This morning I am feeling calmer and more hopeful but I’m still scared I’m at breaking point. The PTSD is bad.