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Originally Posted by divine1966
So you’ve never met Katie? You said you rescheduled first date. In what sense is she great with you and knows when to back off and when you need comfort if you two have never met?
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So we were due to meet last week, she was moving so I wanted to go and help her move things, and take her for dinner. We've been talking a few months now. We are in different counties but it only takes an hour to get to her via motorcycle. But unfortunately I slipped on gravel and ended up in hospital. I was so disappointed I couldn't go and help her, felt like such a failure that day. So 28th is her birthday. We planned a birthday meal but her work is taking her out, so we are going for a picnic if the weather permits.
Katie knows about my conditions and I've explained that there will be days where I struggle. For her not to worry, and to just bare with me until I'm better. We have a bond created by honesty and respect. If she has something she is concerned about she knows I will listen and support her, she's always asking questions which is great, because it shows she is wanting to make this work.
She facetimes me every morning to remind me to take my medication, evening and night time. My last relationship was abusive because neither of us understood what was going on with me, but it wasn't until my doctor diagnosed me that we started to realise the faults.
When I had my accident, Katie was more concerned about how I was, rather than anything else. She told me she would come and visit me in hospital, but of course, i wouldnt want to make that our first date.
Primarily my mental health is good currently, stable and under the MOJ. I've learnt a lot from my previous relationship and it's really helped me move forward. The thing that worries me (anyone with bpd will know) is that I'm suffering more from the "you've not spoken in days do you not like me" whereas in reality she's probably just busy or asleep.
I'm ready to date, I've faced my demons and I've dealt with the grief. Yes, I cry every time I see photos, or every time something reminds me of Zoe, but that's normal. Therapy in the UK is nearly extinct. So much cut backs meaning therapy is only for those who are seriously in need. I've been in therapy for eight years.