Instead of giving a very long back story I will try to make this as short as possible.

My husband had a few mini strokes and he is not who he used to be.Not at all.It has changed his personality and it feels like my loving husband has left or died and this man I don't like very well and can't get along with has taken his place.

Everything turns into an argument.Everything that I try to discuss with him goes down hill very quickly and we end up yelling at each other.It doesn't matter how I try to approach him,or when,it's never a good time or a good idea to discuss anything,not even important things.

He seems very rebellious,anything I ask him to do,even hey can you please run this bag of trash outside or hey can you take the dog out for me while I cook turns into a tug of war and a big issue so I end up doing everything myself.He is ok physically,he has no physical effects,it's just his personality and behavior has changed.

I do love him but I'm not sure how much more I can take of this.And I feel SOOOO guilty for even saying any of this because I'm afraid I will get attacked for complaining or even considering leaving him due to something that's not his fault.

I'm just so tired of all the arguing.I try so hard not to,I overlook so much,but after awhile I start feeling like a doormat and like I don't matter at all.An example,he took all the money out of the bank yesterday without telling me.I didn't know until I got an email with our balance this morning.When I tried to talk to him about it he asked what the big deal was,asked me what's the difference in the money being in the bank or in his wallet.I tried to explain that what I was upset about was the fact that he took it all out without even telling me.It turned into a huge argument of course,he said he did nothing wrong and I was just "looking for an excuse to treat him like ****".I walked away from the argument and have been avoiding him all day since then.I am really frustrated because these types of things keep happening.
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Yes,I have talked to his doctors.Yes he has had testing done.

I am really hurting and torn.I don't want to walk away from him yet I don't think I can continue this way either.

Sometimes I wish I would just die rather than have to even go through this struggle or have to make any kind of decision.And I guess I just needed to finally say this out loud to someone,to anyone,because it's too hard holding it all inside.