I am so sorry that your mother treated you like that when she should have been loving, caring and supportive, as a mother. In reading this, I believe you are a person who has been wounded deeply but is willing to forgive in order to have a relationship with your brother, and especially, your sister. I understand. If only your mother would realize her need for help and get it for herself and for all of you children to heal from this abuse from a very disturbed person. She is to be pitied to be her and not realize she needs help. You sound like you would forgive if you could.

Right now she knows that she holds your siblings as control over you. The best thing you can do is to live your life and be the best you can be at whatever you do, be it school, sports, friendships, work. Break the cycle with you. You have a future that you are free to pursue. Break free of the past. Do not stay stuck there. Think of what you like to do- be it helping others, music, math, science, cooking, I don’t know what you like to do but be sure it’s a good thing to pursue. Then try it, go for it. You will get stronger and healthier. Be the best you can be. If you are of a spiritual nature, you could meditate or pray for your mom and your siblings to want to get help. You will see how your life will take flight and in time, at the right time, there will be hope to see your siblings and, Lord willing, your mom will get help and you can have a healthy and beautiful relationship. You only have control over your life. Make good decisions and I believe you will be much happier and stronger. Be good, do good for others. It is our purpose not to live for ourselves but to be a blessing. You can take what you have experienced and be more sensitive to the needs of others. But work at doing a good job at wherever you are right now. Take stock of the gifts and talents you have, or want to pursue, and be happy and free. You can do it. I believe in your kind spirit, in spite of what has happened to you and maybe even because of it. God bless you dear.