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Originally Posted by ruby2011
I’m doing hypnotherapy every week. I’m also on medication. I’ve tried cognitive behavioral therapy regularly before but it didn’t help.
What made me worse lately is an Arby’s employee coming through McDonald’s drive thru every morning in her uniform, which is the worst trigger ever. She works for the location I got canned from. That’s when my intense outbursts and paranoia started.
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I'm glad you are getting some help beyond just PC. I hope you are talking about these specific things with the therapist.
Regarding the employee coming through the drive thru: I understand that seeing the reminder of the Arby's uniform brings up all the bad feelings from the previous employer and upsets you. Regardless of fault, it was still an upsetting situation for you. While your behavior that got you "canned" was out of line, you have a disorder that makes it challenging for you to understand. So I want to support you, Ruby, that the bad feelings resurfacing when you see the reminder of the uniform is somewhat natural.
What's good is that you are aware of this trigger. When/if you continue to see this person in the Arby's uniform in the mornings, try to practice some positive self talk. You can acknowledge that you made some mistakes, but remind yourself that it doesn't make you or them bad people, and that you are learning, and you will be okay. Remind yourself to stay in the present. Deal with the actual people who are in front of you in the present, not projecting onto them negative feelings from Arby's that are in the past. Does this make sense?