Thanks Seesaw. I have done that.. or perhaps not enough? Maybe I'm still not forgiving myself and I don't even realize it? I wrote about it in my journal though for a long time... I forgave myself long ago because I had been very vulnerable, needy and particularly at a low point in my life. I had previously processed those emotions and decided to give myself some compassion over making a bad choice.. that was over a year ago. So I don't know anymore if it's about self forgiveness or just my continued outrage? I JUST learned that he had also stolen money from me, which most certainly resurfaces all the rage I felt before.