From what I’ve learned about people, gives me a feeling in my gut that he did not totally use you. His loving words to you were real to him, in his mind, when he said them.

IME, no one said they loved me who didn’t. The ones who dumped me and sent me reeling, had never said they loved me. These guys didn’t even have to lie about loving me because I was that easy, they didn’t need to lie.

I spoke to one many years later who said he ran away because he wasn’t ready and knew I was everything he wanted. When the one dumped me who I spoke of with you earlier, my mom said he dumped me to do me a favor because he did love me, but he knew he was too messed up and didn’t want to ruin my life. Of course, this caused me endless rumination.

Your ex could have used plenty of other women, but he chose you because he really did want you. Sure, he did use you for obvious financial reasons, but my gut tells me he did have honest feelings for you. You are people smart and I’m sure you would have sensed if he was only just using you.