I am not saying he used you or that he didn’t love you. But I wouldn’t put that much weight on things he said. Actions speak louder than words. His actions indicate that he is a very messed up and dishonest individual. So what he said or didn’t say can’t really matter that much. It wasn’t even that long of a relationship honestly to ruin your peace of mind.

You yourself said he majorly abused you so why does it matter that he told you how much he loved you all while abusing you?

What about it that you just can’t let go? Honestly golden you are a newlywed. It’s been like only a month. Why do you spend so much energy thinking about what loving words this other man said to you? I’d feel worried if a month after my wedding I thought what loving words my exes told me.

Have you talked to your therapist about it? Does she have any suggestions? It makes me wonder if there is some subconscious reason why you focus on this unimportant guy and not your very very new marriage?