Quote:
Originally Posted by Lrad123
This post has got me thinking. I know it’s probably my own personal issue, but in my case, I’m not sure I actually “need” anything from my therapist. I’d like his perspective and I’d like to see if there’s anything so can learn from him which is why I hired him and I guess why I’ve stayed with him. The irony is that one of the things I have to learn might be about having needs. In my case, I haven’t asked for much from him. I did ask him to respond to emails and he said no which was a bummer and has me feeling cautious about asking for things. I’ve also asked about his pets and learned that he won’t easily disclose personal information even if it seems like a small mundane thing. So, bottom line is that I suppose it’s ok to have needs or wants or requests but they may not be met. Clear as mud!
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Interesting! I like how you described it. I go back and forth on this, but right now I do feel like I need things from my therapist. I need him to be trustworthy and reliable, to be present and attentive during our sessions, to care about my wellbeing, to be knowledgeable about my needs, to be insightful and deliberate in what he says and asks, and I need to know that he and I are working towards the same things in my therapy. In some ways these are pretty basic job requirements, in others they're pretty demanding. Sometimes simultaneously both.
Some of these needs are "within therapy" needs, where it's more about what I require in order to engage in therapy. Some are just needs, that I could meet elsewhere too or instead. In some cases I do also meet those needs elsewhere. The general needs that I don't meet elsewhere tend to point to key things I'm working on in therapy, so it's interesting to think about what categories various things fall into.