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zapatoes · Jun 24, 2019 at 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nonightowl

I don't know what it is about cancer these days. I lost my mom to stage 4 lung cancer 2 1/2 years ago, and now my dad has cancer. I don't know what kind as he won't tell me. (It's important to know for own medical history, as doctors ask stuff like that---anyone in your family ever have _____?)

There's no discussing of memories with either him or my brother about mom. My brother isn't speaking to me. I've only shared some with members of a grief group. My dad got mad when I mentioned my mom, lashing out at me.

Unfortunately, grief and/or death has made my disconnected, dysfunctional family even more so. My only consolation is to keep telling myself what my therapist once said: That it's not as unusual as I think or as our culture leads you to believe.

And there were a couple of people in the grief group I went to last year who had similar dynamics. I keep reminding myself of that. I was in touch with one of them but she quit responding to me.

Yes, do take care of yourself. It might help to keep in mind there's no "right" way to feel or grieve, that there's no time table, and it's not a linear process.

Thank you and hope you can continue to find support as you go through your grief. Sorry to hear about your mom and your dad now diagnosed with cancer.