Coping skills. Supposed to help, I guess.
"I don't want to be here anymore."
"Watch a movie."
****, great advice, isn't it? Like it'll cure all my problems. Same as "accepting" my anger, my rage, my jealousy, my sadness, like it might do some good. I accept all of my damn feelings. Where does that leave me? Running after people with my tail between my legs. I'm tired of being left alone, I'm tired of being abandoned. I'm so tired of this, trying when I don't even care anymore.

People are thinking I'm getting better because I've stopped talking. I've stopped talking because I know people don't give a ****. I see the crease in the forehead when I talk about my problems, I hear the strain in their voice. I've stopped talking. I no longer tell people what is the matter. Partly my fault, right? I always play a "role" in things; I always have "fault" in the situation -- I guess that's how life is, right? Unfair? Injustices? Yeah. Go figure. So -- I am told, "accept your role in the situation. accept your fault." ha, yeah. that's great advice. I guess it's my fault I feel so bad.

I am very angry and sad tonight. There is nothing wrong with my cognition. There are obviously things wrong with how I'm supposed to cope. What would you do if you were in my situation?

I feel like a beaten puppy dog.

I want to erase all the bad, dark parts of me. I feel so sad sometimes. I just want to lay down and feel alright, be at peace. It's been a long time since I've felt that way, since I have truly felt at peace.

At times, I just want to run away and hide.